Before It's Too Late
by layra.sparks
Summary: Aria/Holden romance. Aria has always loved Ezra, but now she questions her feelings as her childhood friend comes into the picure. Who will she chose? Will she take the right decision? Will it not be too late?
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Aria Montgomery was driving home from school in her car, blasting her favorite song by The Rescues. She was genuinely happy, considering the circumstances – things got tough after Maya was found dead and Mona confessed to being 'A', but as she drove past an ivy covered, grey roofed house, while tapping the steering wheel to 'My Heart With You', she felt something foreign and unexplainable tinge her. The girl was immediately reminded of that rainy night in Philadelphia, when she thought she was going to lose Ezra, but then he arrived and they kissed and…But no, right now it wasn't Ezra who crossed her mind. It was Holden.

She hadn't seen Holden in more than a month, and they hadn't spoken either. Midst all complications and secrets, the girl had completely neglected him. She had completely forgotten about him.

That is why, at that very moment, Aria parked the car in the middle of the street, got her phone out and dialed Holden's number. She didn't exactly know what she was doing, why she was doing it, not even what she was going to say, but she did it anyway.

"Holden!" she exclaimed, as soon as he picked up the phone. "I…sorry to disturb, but I…I need to see you. Are you busy tomorrow?"

"It's a date" Aria declared to herself in an unconscious moment, "with Holden Strauss". But as soon as those words came across her mind, she felt a sudden rush of guilt. "I'm with Ezra" she reminded herself, and quickly sent an 'I love you' text to him, while faking a smile to Prudence Finn as she passed.

Aria opened her locker door and looked into the mirror. She was wearing the same golden earrings she put on when she ended up following Holden to Tang Soo Do, and the same hexagon necklace she wore on their date to the theater right after he returned. She didn't realize that in the morning…Perhaps Holden would recognize them too, and compliment Aria for it in his own, sarcastic but sweet manner. Maybe he would also wear that grey shirt she considered hideous at first – "Love u 2. xo Ezra". Right. Of course. Ezra.

"Hey Aria!" Spencer yelled, walking up to her in that stunning vintage hat that the girl was always jealous of. "I'm still finding it weird to phrase, but are you up for a double date tonight? You and the Fitz, me and Toby? I rented a few classical movies you told me he likes!"

"That's very sweet of you" Aria replied "but I have a d – err…meeting with a friend."

"Anyone I know?"

"No…I mean it's just Holden. Strauss. You know H – "

"Holden? Wow! May I come too? He's kinda fun, and I love Toby but the fact that he's reading 'The Catcher in the Rye' for the fifth time, if I'm counting accurately, is giving me the creeps."

Aria smiled. Spencer really knew what to say when she wanted something, but right now it just all seemed wrong.

"So you wanna ditch him for someone named Holden?"

"Yeah…it's kind of ironic. So may I?"

"Actually…it's kinda…it's that", 'three's a crowd' Aria thought, "we have a project together. Due Monday. Sorry."

"You don't even have a class together" claimed Spencer, with that intriguing eyebrow raise of hers. "Is there something I should know about? Ezria's unchallengeable love – "

"No. Don't be…ridiculous, Spence. I have to go now. See you around." And with that, Aria turned around and walked away.

As soon as Spencer was out of sight, she started running along the corridor, not stopping until Ezra's former classroom. It was empty, so she entered, locked the door, and sat down on the wooden desk that used to be his. She wanted get that same feeling she always does while sitting there: those butterflies in her stomach, that smile that secretly sneaks on her face, her heart beating…She didn't feel it though. She sat on the teacher's desk, trying to think about the man he gave almost everything up for, but she couldn't.

Why? She didn't admit it to herself yet, she wasn't able to, but she wasn't in love with Ezra Fitz any longer. His place was starting to be taken over by someone else…


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

The restaurant was almost empty. Or the pub, more like; Aria found the place, called Hungry Owl Tavern, online, and 'vintage' being her middle name, she decided it would be the perfect place for them to meet. It wasn't exactly what she imagined, though: it was more run-down than classic, and came nowhere near Rive Gauche or even the Grille, but it was alright. At least no one would disrupt them, she thought.

"Hey!" Aria looked up to see a familiar face. The boy was wearing a navy blue jacket, a plaid shirt and jeans. Just casual. He also had a beanie on, which looked slightly uncharacteristic on him, yet she found it immensely attractive.

"Holden! Hi!" She stood up to give him a big hug, which surprised the guy a bit – hugging was never really their thing, and he couldn't even remember hugging Aria before. Perhaps when they were five. Not that he minded, though, not at all.

"You're early" he said, with a very charming smile.

"No, actually you're late" the girl laughed, but since punctuality was never Holden's strength and he looked quite ashamed of it, she quickly added "but that's alright". The boy sat down, took off his beanie, and looked deeply into Aria's eyes.

"I was surprised that you called" he started. "It's been a while since we last talked."

"Yeah. I've been kind of…busy. Exams and…police sirens waking me up in the morning. It's been a crazy mess."

"So I've heard. But what was that all about, actually? This guy, Craig, told me that that girl Mona is some psychopath and that she'd been stalking you and your friends for a while? Is that true? Why didn't you tell me?"

"Tell you what? That someone's been following each of my moves since Labor Day? Anyway, let's not talk about that. What about you? How are you?" Aria asked, with a wide smile on her face. She didn't know for what reason, but she was happy to be with Holden. Relieved. She ordered a Scotch, he ordered a Coke – he didn't drink due to his heart condition – and the girl listened to him telling all kinds of funny stories.

"…so all my clothes were wet and all there was in that friggen' house was some deer, awaiting to be stuffed or something. So what I did, I put it on. And then my little sister came in and saw this reindeer walking around in the room, cooking tea." Aria was giggling so hard, she spit her drink all over the table. "Are you OK?" Holden asked, trying hard not to laugh. He too was having a wonderful time.

"Sure, sure" she answered, trying to catch her breath. Then, it was her turn. She also told Holden a story about a time in Iceland when she fell into the ocean during a harbor party. Afterwards, they started recalling all their childhood experiences, and the two were happier than ever.

"Hey, remember when you put chili in my chocolate cream?" Aria asked, already thinking about another mischief Holden had done back when they were seven.

"How could I forget? You shoved your own head in the soup bowl. And that soup was at least three weeks old."

"OK, how could I've known that? Anyway, it was your fault. What was wrong with you that day?"

"Err…how could I know that? It was ten years ago, remember?"

"Perhaps your memory is too short-term?"

Then, they moved on to different topics: Aria's new art class at Hollis and her prize winning short story about an old lady whose only joy was watching a little girl walk along the street every day, Holden's photos he took in Portugal – mainly of men in hip waders holding algae – and his little sister Melody.

Aria ordered another Scotch, but this time for Holden too who seemed to forget that he was not supposed to drink, and then another one. The two were making loud jokes, screaming when any other past prank came to their mind, and were just generally enjoying themselves. Gradually, people arrived at the bar, some of whom they even slightly knew, but that didn't bother them.

"So you're still doing Tang Soo Do?" Aria interrupted the easy flow of conversation. "Even when your parents say Tang Soo Don't?"

"I –"

"And they still haven't found out? Wow, teach me how to do that."

"Aria, the thing is –"

"Attention, please" a female voice called out from the speakers. "Don't forget to sign up for karaoke tonight. There's an open mic, anyone can sing."

"You wanna go?" Holden asked. "You used to be one killer singer. Bet your voice is better than ever."

"Uh…no, not really. I like singing, but not really in public. I mess up and –"

"Don't be crazy. If I had a voice like you, I'd only communicate with people through singing."

"Well than I'm glad you don't. You know what, I think I'll give it a try. I mean, I barely know anyone here."

Aria signed up, and decided to sing 'We're OK' by the Rescues. They were her favorite band, and it was her favorite song. She sang the first two verses, and felt something unspeakable take her over. Standing there, singing, Holden cheering for her from the audience, she suddenly felt she was completely problem free.

Then, something completely unexpected happened. Holden stepped on stage, and started to sing along with her. Their voices completed each other perfectly – he was almost as great as Aria – and by the end of the song, the crowd was clapping, all gazes were on them, but they were just standing there, center stage. Aria found herself holding his hand tight, looking into his eyes, mesmerized, unable to say a word to him, and yet talking to him through her mind. Holden knew what Aria thought. Aria knew what Holden thought.

Right there, in the middle of the whole bar, the boy held her gently with his hands, leaned close to her, and kissed her. Their lips fit perfectly together, their hands were in each other's necks, never wanting to let go, while both saw sparks fly and fireworks take off in their minds. They wanted this moment to continue forever, all guests staring at them, but they shutting everyone out, except for themselves.

The world was theirs. For those two minutes, anyway.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

After they eventually separated, they both stepped off the stage. Another girl took the stage, who started singing 'You Belong with Me' by Taylor Swift – rather falsely. Holden and Aria returned to their seats without saying a word to each other. Both of them had enjoyed the kiss, no, what they felt was more than simple joy – all of their daily issues seemed to vanish, and all there was left was pure passion and deep love. Yet, they said nothing. The two just stared at each other, embarrassed.

Aria was first to break the silence. "I…better get going. My family gets pretty worried when I'm not home on time. Especially nowadays."

"Aria –"

"Yes?"

Holden paused for a long moment. He meant to mention the kiss somehow. He didn't know how, though. It was all so flawless and cathartic; he didn't want to ruin it by bringing it up and starting an awkward conversation about it. "Should I…drive you? I'm not sure you should sit behind wheels. I mean, after –"

"Oh, I'm fine. Don't worry about me. Really."

"Are you sure? It would be no –"

"No, I'm serious. I didn't drink that much. But I've really got to leave now."

Aria grabbed her bag, said goodbye to Holden with a wan smile, and sat in her car. She really meant that she had to go, but not for the reason she said. The girl had just cheated on Ezra, she realized. Ezra, for whom she was prepared to run away. Ezra, for whom she went against her family. Ezra, who had risked his career for her.

That night, she barely slept. She kept staring at the ceiling, one moment smiling about the kiss, the next crying about Ezra. Did she still love him? The way she used to?

"Aria! Here you are! I tried calling you last night." Spencer approached her, with a look of concern on her face. "Is everything alright?"

"Yeah, totally. I just left my phone in the car, that's all."

"So, how was it? Did you get your, err…project done?"

"Oh, yes. I…he needed to write an essay about 'The Age of Innocence' and I decided to help him, since I've read it."

"By Edith Wharton? That's one of my favorites! You could have told me yesterday and –"

"Hey!" Emily was standing next to them, her hair braided; wearing the scarf Maya gave her a long time ago. She'd worn it almost every day since they found her body; it was the only thing that was directly from her and made the girl feel close to her.

"Em, hi! Are you OK?" Aria was glad that she had arrived – there was no way she would tell Spencer about the kiss, she decided, and the conversation could finally be shifted.

"Yeah. Let's say. What were you talking about, anyway?"

"Aria had a date with Holden."

"Oh, I thought your parents acknowledged you and Mr. Fitz."

"Firstly, call him Ezra, please; secondly, I really did meet Holden this time. But not on a _date_, Spencer."

Spencer gave a little laugh. "I even hung around the Grille for a while, hoping you two'd arrive."

"Oh, we didn't go there. I didn't really want to bump into anyone, so I found this small pub online."

"A pub? Wow, where?"

"In the woods. But I can't specify, 'cause than you'd all start hanging there too."

"Come on, Aria!" Spencer demanded.

"Can't say a word. Sorry. If I told ya, I'd have to kill ya."

"Aria", Spencer started, "I'm not sure that expression is too appropriate under these circumstances." She gestured at Emily, who was fidgeting with Maya's red scarf.

"I mean…" Aria began, realizing her mistake,"we met at this place called…The Hungry Owl Tavern? Yeah, that was it, I think."

Emily's head shot up. "Oh, that run-down place in the forest? I've been there with Paige…once. They did karaoke."

"Yeah, that's right."

"Wait" Spencer interrupted, her eyes full of suspense. "Paige McCullers? I thought you two hated each other! What were you doing with – Oh my –"

"I kissed him" Aria blurted out, but immediately regretted saying those words.

"What?" the two asked, simultaneously.

"I mean, he kissed me. Not that it makes any difference. We sang this song and…it just happened. I don't know how, OK?

"Does Ezra know?"

"No. And he can't find out. He's already lost his job, he can't lose me too."

Upon realizing this, Aria suddenly wanted to take it all back. She had felt relieved yesterday, but now all she sensed in herself was guilt. So she wandered off from the other two and sat down in an empty corner, in tears.

Then, the girl took her phone out, selected Holden's name and started to write him a text. 'Holden. Please, don't tell anyone about last night.' No, that was not enough for her. 'Holden. Please, forget about last night. Take it as something that never happened. Erase it from your mind. Thanks, Aria.'

She hesitated for a second, but then pressed send anyway. Afterwards, she immediately called Ezra, and agreed to meet him in his apartment that night. She wanted to love Ezra. She really did, but her heart was already taken by someone else. Aria just didn't know that yet.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Ezra and Aria were sitting on the sofa, drinking wine and watching an old French movie.

"I had a job interview today. It's a college in New York. They need someone to teach 20th century American drama, but not just yet. After next year. After you graduate."

Aria smiled, but she wasn't really paying attention.

"We could move to New York. Together. It's not far from that Liberal Arts place you were looking at the other day."

"Sounds good"

"Is everything alright? Aria?"

"What? Sure, yeah."

"How was your day? Did something happen?"

"No" the girl exclaimed defensively."Nothing…Why do you and I never go anywhere" she asked after a second.

"I…guess we just got used to hiding here, eating takeout, you know, just…rocking out like the hermits. Habits are hard to break. D-do you mind, though? You know, we could always go out somewhere. Really, anything you want."

Aria smiled again. Ezra was so kind, and she felt even worse than before. How could she have done such a thing? And with Holden? "I'm fine. I like it here." Sigh. "With you" she added, then she leaned towards him and kissed him. "I love you" she whispered, unbuttoning his shirt.

"I love you too, Aria. You know I do" he answered, pulling Aria's lace top off."More than anyone I've ever loved."

The girl just couldn't take it any longer. She pulled away and stood up from the couch. Then, she took a deep breath. "Ezra. There's something you should know. I…Holden…" But looking at him, deep into his dark eyes, she couldn't tell him. "Holden…has this…thing. He broke up with this girl. I promised to go over to him and…"

"No I…I get it."

"Sorry, I got messed up. It's –"

"Right. I…Your top."

"Thanks." Aria put her top back on, grabbed her bag and rushed out the front door. On her way down the stairs, her phone began to ring; she looked at the caller ID and it was Holden. After a moment, she declined the call, but on her way to the car, it started to bleep again.

'Aria, don't make me take back the most wonderful night of my life. –Holden'.

"Great. This is all I needed right now" she thought, but against her will, a smile crept on her face. He enjoyed the kiss. But no, she was with Ezra. He had just made college plans for her, he cared about her future –

But the future? Was that really what mattered the most? The two sitting in a dark New York apartment, both of them going to work and returning at 8 PM – that's what occurred to her when thinking about Ezra. Was that truly what she wanted? Or did she want to make the most of her life, like Holden?

Ezra. ...….

Her phone bleeped again. 'I really wanted to tell you this in person, but I guess that might be too late. This text, it might be, too…' She scrolled down. Then, she stared at the four words at the end of the message, paralyzed. 'I love you Aria.'

He loved her. He really did. And she couldn't get that out of her mind. An hour had passed, yet she was still sitting in her car, in front of Ezra's apartment block.

Holden Strauss loved her. And so did Ezra Fitz. But Aria, Aria didn't know who she loved. Both of them? Holden? Ezra? Holden? Ez – no, stop it.

She couldn't have a promising future with Holden, he himself admitted that his life will probably be shorter than everyone else's. She could have a future with Ezra, but did she want to?

Aria wasn't a gambler. She needed safety. And she, at that moment, felt that Holden could never give her that. So she climbed out of the car, locked it, and ran up the stairs leading to Ezra again.

She entered, pulled off her top, kissed the astonished Ezra, and sat into his lap. The guy kissed her back, switched off the TV, and lit a candle.

Then, they collapsed into each other's arms.

Some people decide to push themselves into false fantasies, false realities, false existence; hoping they would eventually get themselves to believe it is the truth. Aria was one of those people.


	5. Chapter 5

_**Thanks for comments so far! Here's a short chapter, it's not the best but I decided to include it. Don't be discouraged by it!**_

Chapter 5

"Aria, I just don't get it. You want this. And I want this. Then why can't we –"

"Holden, life isn't always about what we want. It's about who we are, how we can achieve our goals and fulfill our dreams and how we can…give the most to humanity. Please, understand this. We have to make a sacrifice. For both of our sakes."

"Alright. I understand. I want you to be happy and live the life you imagined."

"Thank you for…respecting my decision. Goodbye, Holden."

"Goodbye, Aria."

The alarm started ringing and Aria woke up. "Gosh, why can't it be that easy in real life" she thought. She staggered out of bed, put her slippers on and approached the bathroom.

Today would be a hard one for her. Three tests, the results of the short story competition _and _she had to talk to Holden. Who probably wouldn't say "Live the life you imagined" and walk away into the sunset, she decided.

"Your friend's here! Waiting downstairs." Mike rushed into the bathroom, with a basketball under his arm.

Aria was surprised. "Who…Hanna?" The two were always going to school together on Thursdays, but she never actually came in the house.

"No, not Hanna! Hah, that'd be creepy. It's your hottie-Holden or whatever you girls call him."

The girl froze. Holden? What was Holden doing in her living room Thursday morning at 7 AM ?

"Are…are you sure?" she stuttered.

"No, no of course not. I just made it up because I enjoy seeing you in pajamas with an expression on your face shouting 'I'm about to piss myself'" Mike declared sarcastically. "Practice early today, he's all yours."

The girl's heart was thumping, although she was unsure why. Not that it really matters, or anything… She took a quick shower then went to get dressed. "If Holden really wants something, he can wait" she thought, secretly hoping he'd have left by the time she gets down.

But he didn't. It was 7:45, yet Holden was sitting patiently on the couch. He was staring out of the window, fiddling with the zipper oh his gray hoodie. Aria wasn't sure how to approach.

"Holden…hey" she started.

"Hey!" The guy sprang up and gave the girl a broad smile. "You look stunning."

Aria gave a quiet laugh. She didn't feel stunning at all, right now. More like someone run over by a car.

"I – Sorry to bother you this early."

"No, 'ts OK."

"You didn't reply to my message. And, well…you know what I'm like –"

"I understand."

"But Aria, I meant what I said. And I get that I'm no hopeless romantic theater guy and you've seen my with a diaper on my head –"

"Holden, please." Aria couldn't really bear it any longer. Butterflies were holding a dance party in her stomach, or at least that's what she felt, and she knew that it was wrong. "What's your point?"

"I'm sorry. I didn't want to shove this in front of you like that…that text, I was desperate."

"No need to apologize. It was my fault too. But –" her heart wrenched upon beginning this "you've got to understand that I'm with Ezra. Theater guy. Mr. Fitz. Arthur Miller, whatever you call him" she added.

"Does he make you happy?" Holden inquired.

Oh no, no, no. Not the 'h' word. Please. "He's very special to me. We've been through a lot, and there's a really strong bond between us. I…I just can't really imagine my life without him. Sorry. Holden?"

Holden was silent.

"Our relationship cannot really be defined to others. It just…is. And always will be. He's someone I can imagine living my life with. Don't get me wrong, Holden. I like you, I really do. Just not that way. I mean…I literally consider you my brother. I –"

"Is this about my heart condition?" he interrupted.

"What? NO!" Aria was shocked. She would never condemn anyone for anything like that, but now that he mentioned it, there was some truth in it. "Don't be silly, I know –"

"Or because I was lying to my parents?"

"Wh –"

"Because if I remember it right, you were agreeing to this whole cover thing."

"Yes! Because I thought I was doing you a favor. My Gosh!"

"A favor? Remember how you also benefited from this?"

"Yeah, well maybe I shouldn't have. Life would've been easier that way. Perhaps. Anyway, don't go off topic."

"Sorry, I just don't think you love this Ezra. And I feel that you're doing the wrong thing. He may give you the image of some successful future –"

"And what do you know about me?" Aria was suddenly furious. "What? A big nothing. Sure, you once knew me in middle school. But then you fled to Portugal and that's it. My relationship with Ezra is something you know nothing about. So stop judging us!"

"I'm not judging you. And contrary to your assumptions, I know you more than you think. You don't want this."

"I do. I do, OK? I want to live with him, and marry him and have kids…and I have a prospect of future with him! Because he's not lying to his parents and sneaking off to do some kind of martial art which he clearly shouldn't!"

"Fine. I lied to them. But only to stop them from worrying. Aria, I may not live until forty, I get that, but that is why I try to live every day to its fullest. And guess what! I enjoy it. I'm happy. While you obviously aren't."

"Oh cut the crap. I'm very much happy." Aria was beside herself. She knew deep down that Holden was right, but she didn't want to believe it. So she kept screaming insults at him. "I'm happy to be with a man, who doesn't toy around with his life, and won't throw me away after a few days; you know, when he suddenly gets bored and decides to move on – because he has clearly no sense of responsibility, oh, but why would he have anyway?" The words were pouring out of her, but she wasn't even listening to herself. All she saw was Holden, staring at the ground, looking ashamed.

"Holden, I…"

"Don't. Just please don't. If that's the way you feel about me." He said quietly. "Bye, Aria."

With that, Holden turned around, opened the heavy glass door, walking behind nothing, but an ashamed and confused Aria.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

It was 8 AM and Aria was sitting in Hanna's car. The blond girl was tapping the steering wheel with her hand, loudly humming a song Aria didn't recognize. All she knew that it was completely out of tune.

"So, word is you've been making out with Holden? How's that? Isn't he gay anymore?

"Hanna, he was never gay. That was just you guys mixing the shit."

"OK! Fine, don't get so pissed at me!"

"I'm not pissed!" But she was. Not at Hanna; at Holden for talking to her like that, for accusing her of everything, for using her – Aria was so blinded by hatred that she didn't realized how she was the one, in fact, who was offending the guy.

She submerged into a belief that she was innocent, a victim of a cruel deceit committed by a person whom she trusted. Holden became a synonym of The Evil, for a while anyway. He was cunning and vicious.

The next few days, Aria didn't even want to think about him. She buried herself in schoolwork, spent her time browsing colleges online, and every night, she visited Emily to comfort her. She slept with Ezra a few times, and they finally went out to the streets together too – to visit a photo exhibition. It was all perfect, on the outside at least.

Nobody was thinking about Holden, who felt more and more depressed and anxious. Did he still love Aria? Did Aria ever love her? It was all a confused mess, yet a void of… He couldn't decide whether he became apathetic or too absorbed by emotions. And when one cannot differentiate between the two, that is already a bad sign.

It was a Tuesday, and Aria and Emily were sitting in the cafeteria. Spencer was on field hockey tournament, and Hanna was probably snogging Caleb behind the vending machine.

"Aria, are you sure you want to come over tonight as well? I mean, both my parents are home and I thought you'd like…you know, time with Mr. Fitz."

"Oh no, he's in Pittsburgh. He has a job interview at this magazine. They're looking for a literary critic. He's never done anything like that before, but you know…it might work out."

"I thought he did something at that New York college…anyway, crawling up with me and watching non-romantic comedies cannot be fun for you."

"No, it's cool, I like them. I adore 80s buddy cop-dog movies." Aria stated with a sense of irony, which she regretted an instant later.

"Perhaps it would also be better for me to have a little time for myself…don't take this the wrong way, though."

"Oh no, no. We're OK, Em. You know…"

We're OK. The Rescues. The Hungry Owl Tavern. Week before the last. Holden Strauss. Karaoke. Kiss. The memories of that night began running through Aria's head as if on replay.

"You're a great friend, Aria."

"I wish I would be…" the girl replied faintly. "Gosh, how much I wish."

"Are you OK" Emily asked with a wan smile curling on her face. "Aria?"

"No" was her curt answer. "I messed up. Holden never hurt me. I hurt him. And I'm such an idiotic bitch and what the hell was I thinking…damn Ezra…NYU…stupid jerk." The realization came out from the girl like a torrential downpour. It all just flooded her mind and she wasn't even able to speak properly any more.

Emily reached out for her hand. "Aria. Relax. You can still find him and say you're sorry. _You _can still do that."

She was right. Aria knew what class Holden had had previously: US History with her mom. The girl remembered as Ella was always complaining about how the guy was constantly late with his assignments, yet she still had to keep accepting them as the Strausses are family friends, and how unfair that all was. Aria smiled in herself – Holden was a great person, but he was always late with everything. He was just incapable of keeping time.

"Mom!" the girl shouted, breathing heavily. She had arrived at the history classroom, with its large posters of presidents, old maps and thick, tattered textbooks. Ella was writing something on the blackboard, looking rather distracted.

"Aria! I was just about to go looking for you. Listen –"

"Mom! Gosh, do you know where Holden went? I really need to speak to him; I made such a mess of things –"

"Aria–"

"No mom, I need to apologize to him. Even if he doesn't forgive me, which I'd totally understand, but I need to tell him–"

"Aria! Aria, I'm sorry. I was just about to tell you. Holden – Holden's in hospital!"


	7. Chapter 7

_**Few things to note: Firstly, the events of season 3 are not regarded here. It doesn't include Holden turning out to be Maya's creepy friend. Secondly, I'm hesitating on whether to have a sad/bittersweet or a happy ending. I'm not really good at happy ones, but you decide. Comments on that appreciated. And thank you for the positive reactions.**_

Chapter 7

Rosewood Hospital was a familiar place for Aria. She knew it inside out, all the corridors, the waiting rooms, the floors and the noise of constant phone calls. There were less than eight thousand people living in Rosewood, yet the place was always busy.

"Hey" she approached Sadie, the receptionist, whom she knew by name. "I'm looking for Holden Strauss. He was brought in recently."

"Aria! Hi! How are you?" she asked, not noticing how worried the girl looked. "I haven't seen you in a while. Which is apparently something positive here". She gave a little laugh.

"Yeah, good to see you too, but could you please help me? It's kind of urgent."

"Right. Sorry, what did you say the name was? I'm kind of lost, people go in and out and in –"

"Strauss. Holden."

"Oh, here it is. Listen, I don't think you can visit him just yet, darling. Unless you're close family, and even then –"

"Yeah, I get it. Sadie, could I ask you a favor, please." Aria was breathing heavily as she had run all the way from the opposite end of the parking lot. "I _have_ to see him. Just, _please_ pass me off as close family."

"Honey, I'm afraid I can't do that. I'm sorry" she answered, giving one of those very annoying, sympathetic smiles. "But I think his mom's here, she just arrived about ten minutes ago…Karen Strauss, is that right?"

"Yes. She's here? Can I talk to her?"

"Room 337. Third floor. You know where that is" Sadie whispered.

Aria took the steps by two until she finally arrived at the lobby. It was empty, except for two elderly ladies, one of them knitting, the other reading Us Weekly.

Then, suddenly a lady in a dark blue trench coat, wearing knee-high boots and a beige silk top appeared round the corner. Her dark, shoulder length hair was bouncing up and down, and she had a deep frown stretched across her face.

"Mrs. Strauss! Mrs. Strauss! What's going on?" Aria quickly demanded.

"Aria, hello. He's alright. As of now, of course; nothing is for sure yet. To be honest with you, this wasn't completely unexpected , you know his heart – "

"Will he be OK?"

"Cannot say."

Mrs. Strauss was rather curt and official, and the girl didn't like that.

"May I go and see him?"

Holden's mother sighed, she was quite stressed. "If you must."

The girl turned around and grabbed the doorknob of room 337, not entirely sure of what she was doing.

"Aria, wait!" The girl looked up and Mrs. Strauss was standing right next to her. "May I ask you something? Please tell me the truth."

"Oh, gosh" Aria thought, she is going to ask whether anyone gave him a great shock, or a reason to be depressed or –

"The doctors say that they found bruises on Holden. Serious ones. He never said a word to me about that and they think it could be vital to know where they came from. Aria; do you know anything about that?"

"I…"she trailed off.

"It could save his life. Aria, this is not a game or anything."

"Tang Soo Do" she blurted out. If it really is that important, they should know. And with that, she turned the knob and entered, ignoring the faint "But Aria" of Mrs. Strauss.

The room was dark, and the bars on the window reminded Aria of a prison cell. In the middle of the room, there was a bed. Aria couldn't make herself look more. All she knew, that Holden was probably there too. She was silent, but the guy heard her come in. He sleepily turned his head towards her, stared at her for a few seconds, and then gave a wan smile.

"Hey." Silence. Aria stared at her maroon leather boots. "I…needed to see you. To know that you're alright. Or…I mean" She didn't exactly know what to say. "How did this happen, Holden? Why, why to you? Out of all people, why to –" she realized that she had raised her voice. "I'm –I'm sorry" she trembled.

The girl was still standing in front of the door, so she stepped closer and sat down on a chair. She looked at Holden. Although he was only a silhouette of himself – the liveliness, that easygoing smile was gone from his face – he still managed to create a tingling, unusual feeling in Aria.

"You're not gonna die!" she suddenly exclaimed, not knowing the real reason why she said that out loud. She didn't necessarily believe her words, but she wanted to, and more importantly, she wanted Holden to believe them.

"Yeah, well I guess a 10% chance is still there" Holden finally replied. "But I'll start making goodbye calls just in case." He gave another smile.

"Shut up", Aria replied skeptically. "What I really wanted to tell you, before all this crap happened, is that I'm sorry. I was a total bitch. I don't know what the hell was wrong with me –"

"It's fine. You were quite right."

"OK, this is by no means a goodbye conversation. So snap out of it." Aria felt like poking Holden now. "I spent my life planning everything, my future and all, but…what I didn't realize was that what makes me happy and what I really need is in the present. You…you're so right in a way! All you want to do is enjoy your life. I like that. I –I just know now…that I should be willing to take more risks. And not only in fashion."

"Banana shoes."

"This has all been bothering now for weeks now. I took a risk when dating Ezra, after all, but… I mean, he is the future, I thought. But what hasn't happened yet doesn't exist."

"You should record this" he laughed, "you'd sell millions."

"Yes, but you're the present. And in order to be happy, people need to live for the moment."

"Well, apparently, I'm the past."

"No, Holden, please!"

"I mean it, though, Aria. I really do love you. Always will."

Aria took a moment of consideration. She gave in, she admitted defeat. Surrendered. She felt her heart relaxing. The girl inhaled sharply:

"I love you too."

She would have kissed him, too, but she wasn't really allowed to do that. So the girl just grabbed his hand, smiled, and looked deeply into his brown eyes.

"I think I ought to leave now. " She got up and approached the door. "Actually, there's something else you need to know." Aria intended to mention telling Mrs. Strauss about Tang Soo Do, but she didn't want to upset Holden, so she decided to keep quiet. "No, never mind."

Aria closed the ward door behind herself, and then pressed the elevator button.

"Aria! Finally!" Mrs. Strauss appeared again, looking rather frustrated.

"Hello. Thank you _so_ much for letting me talk to Holden. If there is anything I can do –"

"Yes. Please, sit down." The lady gestured at an empty, hospital green chair. "It's the bruises…"

"Oh, I told you. While we were seeing each other, Holden was doing this martial art –"

"No Aria, it's not that. Holden quit months ago. We found out after he stopped seeing you."

"Oh" the girl was shocked. "Oh. I didn't –Holden never mentioned that. But wait, are you saying those bruises come from somewhere else?"

"Yes, I am. But he won't tell me. Will he tell you?"

Aria looked out of the window. The rain had started falling, and fog was slowly dragging itself into the small town of Rosewood.


	8. Chapter 8

_**Thank you for the comments. I appreciate them. I'm coming closer to the end, so again I'm asking whether you'd like a happy or a sadder ending. I've got some responses, but the more, the better. I'd like to please as many people as possible and provide a satisfying ending! So, thank you again & please leave a comment. **_

Chapter 8

"What is it Aria, what's so urgent?" Spencer turned back from the smudged window of the girl's bedroom that was dotted with raindrops. "I just got back from field hockey about an hour ago."

"A second, we'll have to wait for Han" she replied, anxious. "This is important. Or, it may be at least."

"What did I miss?" Hanna burst in the door of Aria's room, with three shopping bags in her hands. "What? There was a sale at the mall. What is up with you people, don't you ever like– Oh wait, who am I talking to? _You_ wear your mom's clothes, _you_ wear swim dresses and _you_ wear your purple duvet cover –"

"Hanna." Emily interrupted.

"Girls, something is going on with Holden" Aria began.

"Wait, I heard he was taken to hospital, is that true?" Spencer asked. "Craig from the field hockey team is friends with him, and we were on our way home when he got this call –"

"Yes, that's right. But, you know when I saw that huge bruise on him a few months ago? Well, that wasn't from martial arts. He lied to me."

"Surprise, surprise! This is Rosewood" Hanna commented.

"Wait, are you saying that he might have been involved with 'A'?"

"No, I never said that!"

"Or the NAT Club!"

"Spence –"

"What if he killed Maya?" Emily spoke up. "It's possible. And that bruise you mentioned, remember when Hanna hit 'A' with her car?"

"Girls! Holden was in Portugal for a year. He wasn't 'A', that was Mona. Shut up."

"Yeah…" Hanna volunteered. "Maybe he is gay after all. Or a drug dealer. He's a gay drug dealer –"

"Aria, he may have killed my girlfriend!"

"Oh stop it all of you. He wasn't 'A' and he isn't gay. He– he's in love with me."

"Oh." Gasps.

"I've known that for a while now and…I kind of…love him too."

"What about Ezra Fitz?"

"I don't care right now. Holden might die and I need to find out where those bruises are from. Could you just please, _please_ help me? Look, I don't know, he may've been dealing in something, or someone may be hurting him, anything. But if we find out, it could save his life."

"Why not ask him?"

"I can't see him, he can't have visitors any more, sneaking in is also impossible. Plus, he didn't tell his mom, so –"

"OK, sneaking into Rosewood Hospital is like walking in flats. I'll do it any time."

"Hanna." Spencer gave a sharp look at the blonde girl. "OK, we'll help you. I'll ask Craig and some others on field hockey. Many people seem to know him there."

"Oh, thanks so much. You know, this may be his last chance…"

"Is it really that bad?" Emily inquired. She suddenly felt a surge of sympathy come over her. "Because then I'll do anything to find out. We can't have another of our friends dying. I'll even learn Portuguese if that helps."

Aria was fiddling with the keys of Ezra's apartment. The last thing she wanted to do right now was to break up with him. It didn't seem important at all, yet it had to be done.

"Dammit" she said, nervous. "Why the hell do I have fifteen keys on this thing?" She put one of the keys into the hole, and it got stuck. As angry she was, she started yanking it. "Open, for God's sake, just open!"

The door, as if hearing her command, magically opened. Ezra was standing behind it, laughing.

"Aria? What happened?" he asked, attempting to suppress his laughter. His expression suddenly changed, though. "How's Holden? I heard what happened, your mom called me she said you were –"

"Oh, yeah. He might die."

"Right. You, you know that this has nothing to do with you…"

"Remember when I called off that date? At Chez Mirabelle?"

"I do."

"Well," she began. "It turns out that that bruise wasn't from doing Tang So Do. That martial art. At least, probably not. Oh, and there's more." Aria made her way into the apartment. "Apparently, he quit months ago, not long after we stopped 'dating', and yet his mom still discovered that he had bruises. It may be a reason why he's in hospital now. But of course he doesn't say anything, which is pretty stupid of him. I don't even know whether anyone dares to ask, actually." She sat down on the couch, and started fidgeting with her rings. She didn't look at Ezra, just stared into the emptiness. "Seriously, how's that? His life's at stake, yet he still keeps this thing a secret". Pause. "Anyway, that's not why I'm here."

"Holden will be alright." Ezra sat down and grabbed the girl's hand.

"No. The chances of surviving are less than 10%. That's why I need to find out exactly _what_ he did and _why_ he –"

"Aria."

"What?"

"I think I ought to tell you something" he said, rather dourly. "My friend, Hardy, he has this part time job at a bar nearby."

Aria's heart began to beat faster. Could it possibly be…? "Yeah, I remember him" she answered curtly. "He thought 'Chitty Chitty Bang Bang' was Mexican porn."

"Exactly. He said he saw you there with someone, I mean at this place, I think it was called 'Angry Owl Bar or…Crazy Owl…no, Sleepy Owl …wait, that's not it."

"Hungry." Aria whispered.

"Anyway, he said he saw you there with someone. You seemed to be enjoying yourself a lot, he told me, so he didn't go up to say hi. Of course, all along, he just assumed that it was one of your friends, but then he told me…"

Aria could no longer listen. Her mind was vacant; she'd been spotted with Holden. It was the end. But then again, didn't she want to break up with him? This would make it easier.

"… so, I figured it must be Holden. I mean, you told me you were hanging out with him. And then, I don't know what came over me. I was passing the theater the other day, and he was there, on the phone. I waited until he put it down and went up to him. I wasn't sure what I wanted, a confrontation, a discussion..."

Aria was holding back her breath, her eyes focused on the lips of Ezra, moving up and down.

"I suddenly found myself…hitting him. I couldn't bear looking at him. I didn't think, I punched him. He wanted to stop me, but it didn't exactly help. I simply couldn't bear a guy like him having to kiss you. You're wonderful Aria, beautiful, clever, perfect, and I just couldn't have it. Him kissing you, forcing you to kiss him. I mean, who does he think he is? After a while, I felt he was provoking me and I couldn't stop. Gosh, I don't know what came over me! Aria, I love you –"

"Stop" the girl forced out of herself. She barely believed what she was hearing. Ezra hit Holden? _Ezra hit Holden?_ That's impossible. Yet it would perfectly explain everything. "Just stop right where you are."

"Aria, I'll apologize. If I'd known –"

The girl, though, wasn't even thinking about a tactful way of breaking up any more. This story…any _apologizing_ to Holden? Like that would be any help at all. "I said LEAVE IT! You, beat a guy who you knew is sick, and then you –"

"Aria, I'm sorry, I told you I love you and wanted to protect you."

"_Protect_ me? What, by killing my friends?"

"I really didn't know, I forgot about his –"

"It doesn't matter. Punching anybody, seriously Ezra! Out of all people I know, you're the last person who I'd –"

"I told you, I lost my head. It had never happened before and will never happen again. Not to Holden, not to anyone. I love you way too much."

"Oh, you're right that it won't. Since I'm done here. Hasn't it occurred to you that maybe it wasn't Holden who initiated the kiss? I'm sorry, are you gonna beat _me_ now, too?" she asked, mockingly. "Goodbye, Ezra." The girl grabbed her bag and turned towards the front door. She had nothing else to say. Breakup with Ezra was done, and she also figured out what happened to Holden. The most obvious thing to do was leave.

"No, Aria, don't go."

"I'll come back later to pick up my stuff."

"ARIA!"

The girl was racing down the stairs, Ezra following her. She only needed to get to the car, and then she knew where she'd go. Straight to Holden. No, she didn't care about the visiting hours being over, or about not being allowed to see him at all. This was important. Sneaking into Rosewood Hospital is as easy as wearing flats, Hanna said, well now here we go.

Aria was wearing heels.


End file.
